just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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