We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
