my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
