Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
