I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
don't judge my taste in strippers
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
