I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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