So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
