So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Im part way to drunk.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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