oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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