Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize