Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
