Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
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Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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