he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
