Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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