from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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