So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
