Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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