everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just gift wrapped bread.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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