is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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