Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
