I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I booty called her while she was in labor.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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