You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
