i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
