I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
