Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
