Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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