if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
