Screwed.edu
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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