saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
