i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I smell stomach acid.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
