How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
if only i could text you this smell
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
