dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
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In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
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This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.