There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?