I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
