my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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