sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
