Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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