He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize