this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
