my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
