i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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