Screwed.edu
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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