Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
