This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
