Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
