Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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