Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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