Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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