Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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