she was so not down for the gang bang
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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