Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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