"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize