During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
