Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
bring money and cleavage
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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