you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
