i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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