No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
i think im in europe. pls send help
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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