Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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