He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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