dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
