ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize